By Princess Pat Akpabio Guest contributor Mkposong Asuquo
In the midst of economic difficulties and pressures from gender roles and expectations, it appears that young couples also struggle with their emotional immaturity in trying to get a spouse from a certain location to another with the hope that they will make better partners.
This at times is manifested in possessive Attitudes Towards The Partners And Infidelity. It is no news anymore about the marital crisis and tells of woes that African immigrants living in the USA face after going back to their home country to marry a man or woman and import to the USA. Biodun, a Mechanical Engineer from the University of Ibadan complained bitterly of her encounter with a young village friend, who was shown love, groomed to taste, and brought to Canada for marital bliss and togetherness. Her arrival developed into a series of exposure and today, the girl is now a "City babe" and no more married to Biodun.
A similar problem is linked to Ndifreke, who was battered by his wife, all the way from the village to the United States of America, only for her to misappropriate the man's savings and later left a note of divorce for the husband. We are also faced with stories of people who have married in a bid to secure their papers, only for the men to drop them after getting all that they desired.
In consideration of these, we write to encourage others in their to crave genuine love as well as encouraging potential lovers by avoiding Marital woes by marrying within your location even in the USA. It is a pittance that after a careful affair with different women here, men leave the women to marry in Nigeria with the hope that the one kept by "Granny" in Nigeria is more humble than the ones they have used in the USA only to be disappointed at the turn out of the event.
Many fail to forget that the girls back home are not virgins. Other men are also having affairs with them. They have access to the internet and social media and they are aware of what happens in the USA. They are more spoilt and rotten than the ones men use and dump in the USA for a home groomed wife. When will men learn that while it is better to marry a woman who already lives in the USA And understands the American culture and society, it is also good to marry from the thick village?
Marriage is not successful because it's from the village, neither is it because it is from the other side, but from Divine wisdom. In all, It is better to marry a woman who knows what it means to work and contribute to paying bills in any location, be it America, China, Germany, etc.
Not the one who will come from home and after a few years and probably one child will start acting up and misbehaving in order to divorce the man and take all he has ever worked for? My closing thoughts: Just because it worked for your friend doesn’t mean going home to marry a wife or husband and import them to the USA or any part of the world will work for you. In some cases, it is a nightmare waiting to happen.
One should really seek divine guidance when seeking a spouse. “Marriage is a reality show, not a dress rehearsal.”~ Princess Pat Akpabio
I am Princess Pat Akpabio and this is Changing minds changing attitudes.