By Princess Pat Akpabio
As an alumnus of the Prestigious Georgia State University, Atlanta Georgia, i ran into a friend, who is curently a Psychology Professor of Georgia State University, a highly regarded scientist and a member of the editorial board of the world’s leading journal of Women-Relationship research.
We discussed on this topic, and she was already jerky on phone, i mean, my friend, a relationship expert got it jerky as it relates to what a Woman really wants in a man. As worried and jerky as she was, so are many of us. What really do Women want in a man then?
I just want you to pause and think for a minute about that question. “What do women really want from a man?” ? Such a broad question, because every woman has a peculiar need and want from a man that she is in a relationship with.
After different typical life examples, I smiled into the answer to this question, which is subjected to individual differences and indeed, a matter of individual preference.
This question is an epic idea, longing and searching for Men who have lived in ages past, trying to figure out what women really want from men and even to this present time.
Sigmund Freud, a known psychologist lived his entire life on earth on the quest on this subject matter but couldn’t get a definite answer to what women really want from men.
This must have been the frustrations of the Biblical King Solomon, who married Seven hundred wives and Three Hundred concubines, but had no definite answer to what the foreign princess he had wanted from men.
Let us understand one thing here, it will remain a mystery to understand women because the way women process emotions and articulate their thoughts are quiet different from the way men process things.
Both men and women are intuitive by nature but they use their intuitions in different ways. For instance, women tend to bond through sharing their feelings and thoughts, while men bond through shared activities. This not withstanding, women want different things from men than what men want from women.
When it comes to the reality of what a real woman and by "Real", I mean a renaissance Amazon, a woman devoid of race, color and geographical location, wants from a man that will top the chart are:
- A king (a man of power and expresses confidence)
- A man that is a keeper
- A man with financial and emotional security
- A good listener with a sense of humor
- A Lover with good sexual chemistry
- A generous man
- A man with a solid concrete plan
- A loyal and sensitive man
Let us have a Teaser on these:
A King:
A real Woman wants a man who is a king in his own right and domain. A man of power and not just powerful, but is so confident in himself as a man regardless of his income and societal status. A true man is a man who ain’t afraid to share his kingdom and power with the woman he truly loves and fancy; holding her in great esteem as his queen.
Women want a man who is real and is in control and can defend himself for being in control of his territory ; meaning he doesn’t have to apologize for everything because he is a king. Be true to yourself.
A Keeper:
Women wants a man that is A KEEPER. A man who will go above and beyond to make them feel as the only one and the most important woman in his life. A man who will stop at nothing to make her feel and be special at all times. For instance, he stops to open the door for her to walk through, stands to express deep courtesy her when she is standing up from the table, shops for her and with her, walks at her right side, protects her from danger and is always on top of his game where she is concerned, etc. A perfect GENTLEMAN in every definition of the word GENTLEMAN.
Financial and Emotional Security :
Women want a man who doesn’t necessarily have all the money in the world to buy them gold and diamonds, but they want a man who is financially secured and stable and will give her emotional security. No woman wants a man who is financially dependent on her for his livelihood. There won’t be much respect coming from her to him, should he fail to be a man that can provide his woman with basic needs.
Women want to be with a man who will give her that emotional security, such that if they have any health issue, her man will be there for her. Women want a man who will still love her even after childbearing and her body is designed with stretch marks and surgery scars. She wants to know that you will take off from work to be there for her and hold her hands comforting her that she will be well soon. This has to do with the type of man you are in character.
A Good Listener:
Women want a man who is a good listener and has a great sense of humor to make her laugh away her stress. A woman doesn’t need a man who is always too quick to jump to a solution without listening to her express herself concerning any given situation.
Women want to share their pains and hurts and disappointment with you on the subject while you listen and let her finish and then you make her laugh and relax over the situation. This is followed by you asking her if she has taken a decision about it or if she needed your opinion and suggestion on the matter. Women appreciate men with a listening ear and a guy who ain’t too serious and quick to provide unsolicited solutions.
A Lover With Good Sexual Chemistry
Women want a man that can love them with all their flaws and they share a true sexual chemistry without reservations and judgmental attitude. Women need that Emotional, Mental, Physical and spiritual satisfaction from a man. You want to love a woman for real fellas? Give her unconditional love and you will get the best out of that woman.
When it comes to sex and matters of sexual activities, what women consider as great sex is a man knowing how to seduce, set the mood for her by lighting scented candlelights, soft music in the background, his stimulating soft touches by his erotic words Usage that will stimulate her mind and sexual longings for him, then becoming more passionately aggressive as their mood ignites to the moment. Women want a man that will be a lover and a friend who is into them for real not just their sexy curves with the intention to get only sex.
Men need to realize that women are not to be seen and treated as sexual objects to satisfy their sexual libidos. Women prefer to be treated as someone you can relate with; as in a real person. Let her know that she is special by showing her extra attention, take your time with her, and be extra tender with her by the way you show that you love her.
A Generous Man:
Women want a man who is generous. No true renaissance Amazon woman wants to be with a man who is right fisted. Shower her with gifts. Send her her favorite flowers, favorite chocolates, a piece of jewelry when she least expected it. Whoo her at every occasion to put a smile on her face and warm her heart to you.
A Man With Solid Concrete Plans :
Women want a man with a solid concrete PLANS for tomorrow or what he wants to do for himself and for the both of them. A man with a good Ambition for the future is very attractive and sexy to a woman. An ambitious man is a sexy man. A man must have a plan for the date, where are we going and what are we doing there.
Have plan A, B and C and be in charge in executing the plans. Plan for tomorrow and know how you will be navigating there and a good woman will be a support and see to it that you do not achieve your plans. Don’t be a weakling with your plans where a woman can easily confused or talk you out of what you see a great future and benefit from. With a man know when to say yes, or no, as well as I’ll reconsider.
A Loyal Man:
Women want a man that is Loyal and sensitive. Ok guys!.Women don’t want to know how you cheated on your last woman. They want to know that you will be honest and faithful to them in the relationship. Don’t cheat on your lady. Cheating on her brings distrust and disrespect in the relationship. Be a man of good character and let the strength of your genuine character speak for you and in the end, you will be rewarded with a relationship that is built on trust. Be consistent in your action of good character, because consistency will bring you respect.
Respect backed up by a woman’s love builds trust. Realize that a strong relationship built on trust can stand the tests of time and life together. Women do SAY that they want a sensitive man. The truth about that is don’t go around crying and apologizing to a woman all the time. She will abuse your sensitivity. Believe me, it is NOT advisable to do so. Being overly sensitive in a relationship, is the fastest way for a woman to show you the door. It is imperative to have a balance.
Be strong, be kind, be loving, be caring, be there for her, yet share your own emotions. Speak up when it is required to do so and be real and be you. Let your woman know that you really care But don't be a weak in the process and don’t be a sissy.
What do women really want from men? It will take more than one writing to capture each woman’s need. As you meet that special woman that you want in you life, please spend time and learn of her, ask questions so that you don’t date her in the assumption “of all women are the same.” No we are not. We have our own peculiar needs.
We are different in so many ways, yet similar. You just have to find a niche with your woman and what works for you. In whatever you do, be a real man and be true to yourself so you can attract your kind of woman that will work with your character and ideologies as a man and the king that you are.
I am Princess Pat Akpabio and this is changing minds changing attitudes.